I just wrote and then deleted a signature Laura tirade for this blog. Instead I'm writing this:
I want this page to remain a purely positive, calming influence. And- sorry, everyone- that's for totally selfish reasons. Although I hope if you're reading this you find what I have to say worthwhile, I began this blog for myself and myself only.
It's back to "don't sweat the small stuff," and also, as the immortal song goes, "let it be."
I know- and I have known for a long time- that I can be short-tempered. Rash. You name it. And I have a tendency to dwell on things that have angered me, giving them far more attention than they deserve. As I noted in my first post, this blog is for me to try to be honest about my personal shortcomings. By putting them out in the open and owning them, I hope to gain the motivation to work toward overcoming them.
So: in the area of emotions, of tempers, of relationships: I will make an effort to think before I speak, to get worked up or upset only about things that truly matter to my life, and to let go of negative feelings that hurt me far more than they hurt anyone else.
Thinking positive...
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Yesterday was a very stressful day.
Newton was sick and I couldn't be home to care for him because, obviously, I have to work.
I checked my email in the morning and saw no new messages. Two hours later, I checked again, and studdenly there were messages from Law Review and from Professor DiSalvo, both notifying me of assignments that are due BEFORE school starts.
I had an email from Career Services talking about job applications- the first round of which are due the 16th (if I need to apply for a new job).
I suddenly realized that if I would need to apply for a job, I would need a transcript. You can't get a transcript with a hold on your account. I have a hold on my account until my student loans come in. Student loans don't come in until the first week of classes (after job applications are due). (I did find out from Career Services that I can use my unofficial transcript from MIX, so if anyone else is having this same problem, don't panic the way I did.)
Meanwhile, I was working on a section of a motion for summary judgment that was due by the end of the day.
Later on, I went to dinner with some coworkers and tried desperately to relax. Two sangrias and a wonderful Vandalia pizza later, I was still wound up. I called John on the way home, talking a mile a minute, virtually panicking.
He listened to me and tried to be calming, and I felt better once I got off the phone. Later that night I texted him to tell him I was going to sleep, and he said goodnight, and also, "Don't sweat the small stuff."
My immediate reaction was BUT THIS ISN'T SMALL STUFF, IT'S SCHOOL AND WORK AND ALL OF THIS IS IMPORTANT AND BIG! Luckily I didn't say any of this, because later on I began to think about what really is "small stuff" and to think about what is worth worrying over.
I remembered reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, a WONDERFUL book that I would say is a must-read for pretty much anyone. He discusses worry and talks about the unproductiveness of it. Thinking about this, I began to realize that even though the things I was worried about were important to me, they were not worth worrying over the entire day. Other than the motion for summary judgment (which I finished), there wasn't a thing I could do about any one of the other things while I was at work.
The homework and other due dates could be dealt with when the time came. The key is that the time was not yesterday. All of those things were "small stuff" in the sense that they were remote.
I'm writing all of this down because I want to keep it in the forefront of my mind when I begin to worry about things I cannot change or deal with. Worry just impairs what you're doing in the present. I think dealing with worry involves a combination of acceptance and prioritization. This is something I need to focus on, especially throughout the next semester, which will probably be the busiest of my life.
Newton was sick and I couldn't be home to care for him because, obviously, I have to work.
I checked my email in the morning and saw no new messages. Two hours later, I checked again, and studdenly there were messages from Law Review and from Professor DiSalvo, both notifying me of assignments that are due BEFORE school starts.
I had an email from Career Services talking about job applications- the first round of which are due the 16th (if I need to apply for a new job).
I suddenly realized that if I would need to apply for a job, I would need a transcript. You can't get a transcript with a hold on your account. I have a hold on my account until my student loans come in. Student loans don't come in until the first week of classes (after job applications are due). (I did find out from Career Services that I can use my unofficial transcript from MIX, so if anyone else is having this same problem, don't panic the way I did.)
Meanwhile, I was working on a section of a motion for summary judgment that was due by the end of the day.
Later on, I went to dinner with some coworkers and tried desperately to relax. Two sangrias and a wonderful Vandalia pizza later, I was still wound up. I called John on the way home, talking a mile a minute, virtually panicking.
He listened to me and tried to be calming, and I felt better once I got off the phone. Later that night I texted him to tell him I was going to sleep, and he said goodnight, and also, "Don't sweat the small stuff."
My immediate reaction was BUT THIS ISN'T SMALL STUFF, IT'S SCHOOL AND WORK AND ALL OF THIS IS IMPORTANT AND BIG! Luckily I didn't say any of this, because later on I began to think about what really is "small stuff" and to think about what is worth worrying over.
I remembered reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, a WONDERFUL book that I would say is a must-read for pretty much anyone. He discusses worry and talks about the unproductiveness of it. Thinking about this, I began to realize that even though the things I was worried about were important to me, they were not worth worrying over the entire day. Other than the motion for summary judgment (which I finished), there wasn't a thing I could do about any one of the other things while I was at work.
The homework and other due dates could be dealt with when the time came. The key is that the time was not yesterday. All of those things were "small stuff" in the sense that they were remote.
I'm writing all of this down because I want to keep it in the forefront of my mind when I begin to worry about things I cannot change or deal with. Worry just impairs what you're doing in the present. I think dealing with worry involves a combination of acceptance and prioritization. This is something I need to focus on, especially throughout the next semester, which will probably be the busiest of my life.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Idea Notebooks
Ever since I was little, I've tried to keep a notebook with me at all times to write down random thoughts, ideas, song lyrics, or quotes I hear that I want to remember for the future. Sometimes I doodled, sometimes I wrote mini diary entries, and sometimes I just made grocery lists. Somehow, when I got to college, I kind of fell out of the habit of doing this, and my old notebooks are probably long gone after all the moving I've done since I graduated high school.
Now that summer is drawing to a close and first semester of 2L year is about to begin, I'm thinking of rediscovering the idea notebook. New Years has never been a big goal-setting time for me; the time of the year when I get the feeling of "new beginnings" has always been the beginning of the school year. Over New Years, the Christmas letdown still lingers, the weather has been frigid for months and will continue to be for months, and other than the date, nothing seems to really change. When school begins, though, it's time to buy fresh school supplies and pick up brand new books. The air itself begins to change: the smell of Autumn slowly drifts to the senses, the evenings and mornings become brisk. There is nothing more exciting than the feeling of being on the brink of a big change. Therefore, the beginning of the school year is when I evaluate my life. This year, I want to do so quite holistically. There is always room for improvement in all areas of life.
First things first: this blog. I created this blog to be an extension of my idea notebook ("IN"). (Sidenote: how law school was the short cite I just did? ;-).) The IN will serve as a place for drafts and brainstorming and the blog will be the final product. The nice thing about the blog is that I virtully can't lose it. Hopefully it will be a place to share my aspirations and plans- and if anyone reads it, it'll be motivation to stay on track. Sometimes life gets in the way of my great ideas- school, work, and social life are all important, and personal goals can often fall by the wayside. I want to try to have better follow through on my ideas and take the necessary time to put them into action.
I will probably do a post for each facet of my life to evaluate where I am now and where I want to be. I still need some time to consider these things, and I don't want to write prematurely. For now, though, I want to post some long-term goals that will be ongoing before and throughout the beginning of the semester.
Now that summer is drawing to a close and first semester of 2L year is about to begin, I'm thinking of rediscovering the idea notebook. New Years has never been a big goal-setting time for me; the time of the year when I get the feeling of "new beginnings" has always been the beginning of the school year. Over New Years, the Christmas letdown still lingers, the weather has been frigid for months and will continue to be for months, and other than the date, nothing seems to really change. When school begins, though, it's time to buy fresh school supplies and pick up brand new books. The air itself begins to change: the smell of Autumn slowly drifts to the senses, the evenings and mornings become brisk. There is nothing more exciting than the feeling of being on the brink of a big change. Therefore, the beginning of the school year is when I evaluate my life. This year, I want to do so quite holistically. There is always room for improvement in all areas of life.
First things first: this blog. I created this blog to be an extension of my idea notebook ("IN"). (Sidenote: how law school was the short cite I just did? ;-).) The IN will serve as a place for drafts and brainstorming and the blog will be the final product. The nice thing about the blog is that I virtully can't lose it. Hopefully it will be a place to share my aspirations and plans- and if anyone reads it, it'll be motivation to stay on track. Sometimes life gets in the way of my great ideas- school, work, and social life are all important, and personal goals can often fall by the wayside. I want to try to have better follow through on my ideas and take the necessary time to put them into action.
I will probably do a post for each facet of my life to evaluate where I am now and where I want to be. I still need some time to consider these things, and I don't want to write prematurely. For now, though, I want to post some long-term goals that will be ongoing before and throughout the beginning of the semester.
- I read a wonderful idea in a magazine about indexing all your cookbooks. I cook quite a bit and from several different cookbooks, and I'm afraid at some point I will remember recipes but not remember where they are located. The suggestion I read involves getting one of those recipe boxes with index cards. You file the name of the recipe on an individual index card in alphabetical order, and on the index card you write the recipe name, the cookbook it came from, and the page of the cookbook. That way you keep track of everything you've cooked and where it came from.
- I also have a ton of recipes I've cut out from various magazines and printed from online. They're all stuffed in a notebook somewhere, and I rarely ever use them because they're so disorganized. I want to organize them into a binder (probably multiple binders) by category, and create a table of contents and index for them.
- Once school starts, I find it so easy to go eat something quick, and generally what I eat ends up being unhealthy. I want to spend a couple of days before school starts cooking things that freeze easily (lasagna, pesto, chicken stock, bread, etc.). I'll freeze these and other things into individual serving sizes and reheat as a meal or as the beginning of a quick meal. I also found a great recipe in my new Barefoot Contessa cookbook (Barefoot at Home) for orange marmalade that you can can yourself and keep up to 6 months. That might be a great breakfast staple.
On the topic of food, I also hope to have a few dinner parties this semester!
I'm going to call it quits for now- I think this post has become too long already. I guess I had more to say than I thought. If anyone has any suggestions about what I've written please share!
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